September Sad Song

The leaves of September begin their journey into the flaming reds, the pumpkin oranges and the amber hues of sunny days gone. This September the transition hurts like never before, symbolizing the beginning of the end of a season that began with excitement, hope and no certain knowledge of the end of my mother’s life. I have an urge to run up to those leaves and yell “Halt!” Perhaps if they do not change and do not fall away, dry and crackling, the supple textures will linger for just a few more months and I will not have to face the permanency of the loss. Perhaps I can pretend that I can run back to my Black Hills and she will be there as always, with her arms open and her gentle wit as sharp as ever, ready for a new day.

Link to video memory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1iXVl9Y1xY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1iXVl9Y1xY

Funeral to be at Serenity Springs Chapel 10:00 am Wednesday

3808 Sheridan Lake Rd
Rapid City, SD 57702
(605) 718-3900

Get directions

Mary Virginia Finnegan Haffner Staikoff

Born September 8, 1924
Died June 28, 2008

Mom passed this afternoon. She did not get out of bed this am. Sue had asked Mark to come up to see mom as soon as possible. Sue had been with mom since Tuesday and needed a break. Sue went home to take a break about 10 am. I was informed via phone that Mom passed away peacefully sometime around 3:15 pm Mountain Standard Time. Ironic in that Trevor had called Mark just about an hour earlier and wanted him to put the phone up to mom's ear so he could tell her he loved her. Mark said she was asleep. About the time of her death Connor and I had had crossed the New York State line and were just a few miles outside of the Buffalo City limits at the time she passed. Connor told me he thinks mom stayed with us until we got "home". I like that thought.

We will post when services are. Bless you all.
Love,
Linda

Another Glamorous one of mom

Good Days and Bad Days

So Linda and crew have been gone from Rapid since Tuesday. Sue has been on 24-hour care since then and Stephanie has been providing her with breaks as needed. Hospice has been to the apartment in one form or another by way of nursing, bathing or spiritual help. Given mom's declining condition Sue is not getting good sleep. Mom's pain is increased and we think she has developed a tumor in her hip area which may be contributing to the pain and discomfort. Yesterday she had a good day and the day before that she got to go out for a stroll around the grounds in her wheelchair. Today is nicht so gut, as she is very weak and tired. Sue is doing an outstanding job and I love her so much.

Linda, Trevor and Connor have begun their journey to the east and are pulling a small U-Haul trailer with the van. We made it to Valparasio, IN today and hope to get the rest of the way tomorrow. Nathan and Kira will remain in Iowa City and the movers will pick up furniture on Monday, then the closing will take place (we hope!) Both our lawyer AND the buyer's lawyers were flooded out andhave been working so hard to make this happen. Keep your fingers crossed.

Just to make life interesting, sweet Nathan has had some health issues. A staph infection in his finger and lots of trouble with his blood pressure meds. The night I got home (Tue), Nathan got up around 3AM to get a drink of water. I heard a big CLUNK downstairs and supposed he had bumped into some boxes or something and thought to myself "at least I don't have to worry about big, strong Nate falling." When he didn't come back to bed I got a little freaked and went to investigate. Kira was mopping him up as she announced, "Daddy fainted". He was there in the kitchen in a puddle of Mountain Dew! He has struggled with some Bradiacardia (slowed heartrate) due to the meds and is now off of those meds and doing better. YIKES.

Mothers and Daughters together forevever

Now this one is just the All-American girl. Mom is still beautiful, even in her illness. Her aqua-blue eyes shine. Today was a rough one, with bouts of nausea and weakness. We did get the hospital bed and this is so exciting because it has increased her comfort level immenseley.

I have to leave tomorrow and begin the journey to our new life. I am really excited to bring our branch of the family back to the same area where both my mother and father were born and raised, and to where so many relatives remain. It is so odd as many of these photos were taken just miles away from where we will be living. The irony is that I was thinking mom would join us for Holidays and get to visit her old stomping grounds.

The other irony is that I really feel as if I am home in these Black Hills. I will always be a Black Hills girl and I feel this land is instilled in my blood. This final night of this trip is quite poignant. As I gently lift mom into bed and see her bruised and ravaged body, I pray that I will be able to return in time to see her once more and to tuck her in many more nights as she did for me when I was small, and had a pixie hair cut (see above).

Sue, you are the best sister in the entire world and I am so honored to go experience this most bitter-sweet time with you. Love you forever Suzy-Q!

Finally, I especially want to thank everyone who has been calling, giving us support, words of encouragement and the like. Neil it is so comforting to know you will be here next week.

 This is one of the most precious memories we will have and our entire family will treasure this forever. What a gift.

Once a hottie, always a hottie!

Our mom always has had bedroom eyes...but these are killers!

Hospice of the Black Hills

We had a very good visit from Hospice this am. Mom's case is a little unique as since she has leukemia, we had to understand that blood transfusions cannot be part of hospice care. At the onset of her diagnosis, we did think she was going to need transfusions due to her low platelet count and anticipated low levels of hemoglobin. Mom has been stable on both counts, however (low, low platelets) but no bleeding. So she was able to be enrolled. Our goals are to keep her in this apartment where she is comforted by routine. What a blessing these people are! They already gave Sue and I the best advice for little things such as bed-to-chair transfers and such and helped me to realize that letting go to do this move to Geneseo is a healthy and needed thing. My family needs me and my mom needs me, and there is just one me, so I go where I need to go when I need to go. Nathan has been wonderful and reminded me that I can fly back to Rapid City in mid July as soon as things get settled down. I pray that I am able to do that. In the meantime, I am going to post some WONDERFUL photos that Sue and I found today. Enjoy!