Funeral to be at Serenity Springs Chapel 10:00 am Wednesday

3808 Sheridan Lake Rd
Rapid City, SD 57702
(605) 718-3900

Get directions

Mary Virginia Finnegan Haffner Staikoff

Born September 8, 1924
Died June 28, 2008

Mom passed this afternoon. She did not get out of bed this am. Sue had asked Mark to come up to see mom as soon as possible. Sue had been with mom since Tuesday and needed a break. Sue went home to take a break about 10 am. I was informed via phone that Mom passed away peacefully sometime around 3:15 pm Mountain Standard Time. Ironic in that Trevor had called Mark just about an hour earlier and wanted him to put the phone up to mom's ear so he could tell her he loved her. Mark said she was asleep. About the time of her death Connor and I had had crossed the New York State line and were just a few miles outside of the Buffalo City limits at the time she passed. Connor told me he thinks mom stayed with us until we got "home". I like that thought.

We will post when services are. Bless you all.
Love,
Linda

Another Glamorous one of mom

Good Days and Bad Days

So Linda and crew have been gone from Rapid since Tuesday. Sue has been on 24-hour care since then and Stephanie has been providing her with breaks as needed. Hospice has been to the apartment in one form or another by way of nursing, bathing or spiritual help. Given mom's declining condition Sue is not getting good sleep. Mom's pain is increased and we think she has developed a tumor in her hip area which may be contributing to the pain and discomfort. Yesterday she had a good day and the day before that she got to go out for a stroll around the grounds in her wheelchair. Today is nicht so gut, as she is very weak and tired. Sue is doing an outstanding job and I love her so much.

Linda, Trevor and Connor have begun their journey to the east and are pulling a small U-Haul trailer with the van. We made it to Valparasio, IN today and hope to get the rest of the way tomorrow. Nathan and Kira will remain in Iowa City and the movers will pick up furniture on Monday, then the closing will take place (we hope!) Both our lawyer AND the buyer's lawyers were flooded out andhave been working so hard to make this happen. Keep your fingers crossed.

Just to make life interesting, sweet Nathan has had some health issues. A staph infection in his finger and lots of trouble with his blood pressure meds. The night I got home (Tue), Nathan got up around 3AM to get a drink of water. I heard a big CLUNK downstairs and supposed he had bumped into some boxes or something and thought to myself "at least I don't have to worry about big, strong Nate falling." When he didn't come back to bed I got a little freaked and went to investigate. Kira was mopping him up as she announced, "Daddy fainted". He was there in the kitchen in a puddle of Mountain Dew! He has struggled with some Bradiacardia (slowed heartrate) due to the meds and is now off of those meds and doing better. YIKES.

Mothers and Daughters together forevever

Now this one is just the All-American girl. Mom is still beautiful, even in her illness. Her aqua-blue eyes shine. Today was a rough one, with bouts of nausea and weakness. We did get the hospital bed and this is so exciting because it has increased her comfort level immenseley.

I have to leave tomorrow and begin the journey to our new life. I am really excited to bring our branch of the family back to the same area where both my mother and father were born and raised, and to where so many relatives remain. It is so odd as many of these photos were taken just miles away from where we will be living. The irony is that I was thinking mom would join us for Holidays and get to visit her old stomping grounds.

The other irony is that I really feel as if I am home in these Black Hills. I will always be a Black Hills girl and I feel this land is instilled in my blood. This final night of this trip is quite poignant. As I gently lift mom into bed and see her bruised and ravaged body, I pray that I will be able to return in time to see her once more and to tuck her in many more nights as she did for me when I was small, and had a pixie hair cut (see above).

Sue, you are the best sister in the entire world and I am so honored to go experience this most bitter-sweet time with you. Love you forever Suzy-Q!

Finally, I especially want to thank everyone who has been calling, giving us support, words of encouragement and the like. Neil it is so comforting to know you will be here next week.

 This is one of the most precious memories we will have and our entire family will treasure this forever. What a gift.

Once a hottie, always a hottie!

Our mom always has had bedroom eyes...but these are killers!

Lunching with Mom

This is last week but I am just getting around to posting.

Mom and Dad on their wedding day

I love this photo and I love this story. Sue said that she used to see this photo (top) in the photo album and she thought our parents were the couple on the LIFE magazine cover! The photo just above is after Dad came back from WWII (flying over Burma). They are at a Buffalo Night club. Note that mom is wearing his "wings"

Hospice of the Black Hills

We had a very good visit from Hospice this am. Mom's case is a little unique as since she has leukemia, we had to understand that blood transfusions cannot be part of hospice care. At the onset of her diagnosis, we did think she was going to need transfusions due to her low platelet count and anticipated low levels of hemoglobin. Mom has been stable on both counts, however (low, low platelets) but no bleeding. So she was able to be enrolled. Our goals are to keep her in this apartment where she is comforted by routine. What a blessing these people are! They already gave Sue and I the best advice for little things such as bed-to-chair transfers and such and helped me to realize that letting go to do this move to Geneseo is a healthy and needed thing. My family needs me and my mom needs me, and there is just one me, so I go where I need to go when I need to go. Nathan has been wonderful and reminded me that I can fly back to Rapid City in mid July as soon as things get settled down. I pray that I am able to do that. In the meantime, I am going to post some WONDERFUL photos that Sue and I found today. Enjoy!

News from Rapid City

It is a beautiful day in Rapid City after a night of big thunder-boomers! Lots of thunder, lightnening and rain in the middle of the night. A four mile run this am was very refreshing.

Mom is failing. I am unable to get much food into her and the best she ate this week was when Neil, Dale, Nathan and kids took her to Red Lobster on Monday. Hospice services will consult with us on Saturday and help us to decide when she is no longer able to stay in the apartment. Right now as long as someone is here most of the time, I am comfortable with her being here. I worry about next week, however when I need to leave to prepare to go to Geneseo. For example last night she was standing by the sink and just collapsed. She is quite weak. Today she elected not to go get her hair done. This was kind of a milestone as she is ALWAYS up for that hair appointment and Sherry, her stylist has literally done her hair for over 30 years and is like family. It was quite hard to tell Sherry mom would not be in. We will hope she feels better and wants to reschedule. Mom's mood is still fairly good. For instance Stephanie and I noted this ridiculous headline in the Rapid City Journal yesterday:

DROUGHT NOT OVER YET, EXPERTS SAY --Western South Dakota could return to overlly dry conditions if the rain stops.

Grandma read that and asked, "Is this a joke or is it some kind of mistake?" We have decided to send this headline into Jay Leno. We decided to send this little note that says, "Not to be outdone by the flooding in eastern Iowa, the Rapid City Journal hired Captain Obvious to write their weather-related headlines" So Susie sent it in this am. We will let you know if it gets on the air!

Flood Images

http://www.art.uiowa.edu/flood.html

This is an interesting link from a friend of ours who is a print-making graduate student in the art department. And this photo is three blocks (DOWN) the hill from our house.

Neil and Ginny Reminisce

And we recorded this for posterity. We will have to distribute at some point.

Monday June 16, 2008

Flood Update: We moved to Iowa City the summer of 1993 during the worst flooding in the then recent history. SO when we bought our house we picked a location that was 1/2 a block from the marker that pointed out the hightest point in Johnson County. Result...our house is fine and our basement didn't even flood! Yet, Nathan was tired of the flooding and his work-place was was shut down, so on Saturday he packed up the dogs and drove to Rapid City. Yay! I was so happy to have my Nathan with me, and we had a great father's day. What a wonderful weekend we had and here are some photos to prove.

Grandma Update Grandma is holding her own. We have been told that a Leukemia death is kind and we are counting on that. Each day we continue to treasure her and we are making her laugh. Her pain in her thighs continues, but with viligent pain management of meds (Linda...Keep an eye on that clock EVERY FOUR HOURS...Don't forget) she hangs in there and with all the reminiscing the pain seems to lessen. Here are some photos.

Grandma's Boys

Nathan, Connor, Trevor, Neil, Bob, Erik and Dale
Grandma, Christopher and Trevor

Grandma's Girls

Cousins Bond

This is a time for us all to gather and learn about our family and family history. Cousins Kira, Trevor, Dakota, Connor AND Amelia, when possible are spending quality time together. This is what family is about. The kids have adventures each day and they come back and tell Grandma about their outings! Grandma is loving the activity and the photo-reports! Today Neil and Dale arrive, and more stories will unfold. Grandma is sleeping more and more, but she is still in her apartment, and she is still doing some of her activities of daily living. I am just so thankful I can be here this month and stay with her!

Trevor and Connor Arrive in Rapid City by Bus after a 21 hour ride

Leave Iowa City: Monday 6-9-08 bus departs 90 minutes late at 10:00 pm CST

Text mail recived by Mom in Rapid City from Trevor on the road: Tue am 6-10-08 from Minneapolis

"They stole it, they stole our CUB foods"

"The Minneapolites stole our CUB foods"

Text mail recieved by Mom in Rapid from Trevor on the road: Tue noon from near Sioux Falls:

"There is a lady here with two kids and a hicky on her neck"

Phone call received by Mom in Rapid from Trevor Tue pm about 5:30pm MST

"Mom Connor is driving me crazy. He won't share his donuts, he is clicking his dental appliance and so he has lost all his talking privileges!"

So 30 minutes later Connor and Trevor get off the bus and Connor looks like he literally has been through HELL. "Mom Trevor made me assume the position!" This means that Trevor, being tired of Connor's antics, had Connor put his head between his knees and grab his ankles. Oh my. The horrors of being a little brother and the horrors of being the big brother who has to deal with the "little fella". Shades of my brothers Mark and Larry! Later Grandma asks Connor, "Do you do everything Trevor tells you? " and Connor answers, "Do I have a choice?"

Condition Report--Wed. June 11, 08

Mom is holding her own, yet she is in more pain and having more discomfort in her femurs. Dull aching is to be expected as the bone marrow is what produces the white blood cells and platelets, yet we don't know for sure if the pain is leukemia related. We are managing it with pain meds, but this is a delicate balance as they make her stomach hurt, and then her appetite decreases. We will all go out to supper this evening as the boys are now here. More later!

Rainbows and Safeway-- Must be a sign of good things for all

Kira snapped these photos the other night. If she only knew the symbolism!

CRAZY HORSE VOLKSMARCH

Kira and I are taking breaks during this trip and we are exercising for spritual fitness. Sunday we got to walk up to Crazy Horse and stand on the ARM. We did the 10K in very nice time and came back in time to have the rest of the afternoon with grandma.