The family Biographer

Thank goodness for Patty! Patty is my cousin daughter of my Uncle Bob and Aunt Mary. Aunt Mary just passed away on July 2nd, the day of my mother's funeral. My mom thought the world of Aunt Mary and I know those two spirits are comforting each other right now, with Aunt Mary B. Smile ladies! This photo is of Patty and her husband Dave, who now live in Ohio. Bless you Patty!

More family

This photo is of three of my cousins. Ruth Ann (daughter of Ruth Marie and Karl), Katie (daughter of Fran and Mary B. Hardick) and Katie's daughter, Rachael

A Huber-Haffner Family Reunion

The boys and I took a road trip today to West Falls, NY (50 miles to our west) for a family reunion. My Father's nephew, or my cousin Karl Huber and his wife Barbara hosted the event. So my father had three siblings--Ruth, Robert and Mary B. (all now gone). Ruth and her husband Karl, had eleven (count em) children. Joeseph, Edward, Karl, Francis, David, Ruth Ann, Mary Cecilia, Paula, Guy, Shirley and Michael. ALL of those "kids" ny first-cousins were present. This is a poor photo of them when they were young, and I will also post a current photo soon.

Kira our Dear-a has a Shiner!

Playing on the father-daughter softball team that Nathan organized (it is composed of the little girls he used to coach who are now grown up) Kira gets a nasty shiner. She told me she was disappointed that there were no "ball seam" marks on her face. I am fine that there are no more marks on my sweet-one's face. She had to use the "bye-bye boo boo" ice pack that Solaire gave her.

Front and Inside

I was horrified to realize we don't have air conditioning, but then I realized we don't need it! This climate is so great. It gets cool in the evening so if we close up the house on hot days, no problem. Also it just doesn't get that hot here! See the "tree" circle? I'm going to make that all flowers. Also the first "project" will be to rip out the carpet in the living room and replace it with a wood floor.
All in all, I LOVE THIS PLACE!

Photos of HOME

Airshow (this was just a small part it was really very, very good.







Backyard looking toward the house
and the next is looking from the house Our little shed can be seen in the other view

Happy July

Well I miss my mom. There are so many times I have wanted to pick up the phone to tell her something. It is very hard to lose your mom. I loved the service--it was comforting and soothing and the funeral home was beautiful plus it had the same view that my mama had for the last 7 years of her life. Sue had some of the cremains put into a silver, tear-drop "vault" necklace and I got it this week. It gives me such comfort to wear it as it sits next to my heart. I will say I am a fan of cremation, however and for the record, cremate me.

Connor and I got back to Geneseo on Monday evening. It was a warm night and we found that Trevor had joined a soccer team, had spent the night at a different friend's house each night and had "managed" the movers. He did a wonderful job, and although he made friends with the movers and maybe let them slack a bit too much, we are slowly getting all the things where they need to go, save for Connor's trundle part of his bed. I can't work out how to get that up the stairs, even IF Trevor is strong.

Here are photos of the rooms that I have all ready, and of the outside of the house. We have mowed once and tomorrow will need to do it again. Geneseo is BEAUTIFUL. The weather is wonderful and it gets cool every night. We don't have air conditioning, but we don't NEED it. This week was the air-show and the town festival. We met many of our very nice neighbors and are settling in well.

Rapid City Journal

Mary Virginia Finnegan Staikoff
RAPID CITY - Mary Virginia Finnegan Staikoff, 83, passed away peacefully at her home in Rapid City, after a short battle with leukemia. Virginia "Ginny" was born on Sept. 8, 1924, in Buffalo, NY, the third child of Mary and William Finnegan. She was educated in Buffalo during the Depression, and was married to Donald Edward Haffner in 1944. For several months she traveled around the U.S. with her husband during his first months back from WWII. She was a devoted mother and homemaker. She and her husband and family moved to Pompano Beach, FL, in the early 1960's. She moved to Rapid City, with three of her four children, in 1964. Virginia worked for several businesses in Rapid City, Corner Construction, Mills Drug, Stephenson's Music Company and in later years, Buckingham Wood Products. Virginia married George Staikoff in 1972. They were active in several mixed double bowling leagues and golf leagues. Throughout her life Ginny was known for her candor, her common sense and her ability to look at life through a long, wide-angle lens. She was courageous and used humor as a buffer to offset the curve balls that life threw at her. In her later years, she and her husband, George, traveled to Europe and visited many historic sites. After the death of her husband, she resided at Holiday Hills Estates and remained independent until her final days. She had many friends at Holiday Hills. Ginny was a passionate Democrat until the last and was always concerned with the issues of the common "Joe." And in the Fjord, I see blue sky, the water, the trees, I see my mother's eyes and I feel her presence. Her will, her determination is in my blood driving me to seek beyond the ordinary. To strive to touch all that seems untouchable. And to answer "yes" to the question, "Did you do your best?" Ginny is survived by her son, Mark (Tara) Haffner, Hot Springs; two daughters, Sue (Robert) Lenz, Rapid City, and Linda (Nathan) Spencer, Geneseo, NY; her daughter-in-law, Carla Haffner, Orlando, FL; and her stepson, Ted (Lynn) Staikoff, Black Hawk; eight grandchildren, Kirsten Haffner, Zach (Lissa) Haffner, Eli Haffner, Christopher (Tammy) Lenz, Stephanie (Eric) Lenz Brown, and Kira, Trevor and Conner Spencer; six great-grandchildren, Sophia, Natalie and Eialeah Haffner, Morgan Lenz and Dakota and Amelia Brown; two step-grandchildren, Laurie (Shane) Murray and Timothy Staikoff; three step-great-grandchildren, Derrick, Madison and McKinna Murray; and her brother, Neil (Dale Lantvit) Finnegan, Palm Springs, CA. She was preceded in death by her husband, George, and her eldest son, John Lawrence Haffner. Memorial Services will be at 10 a.m. Wednesday, July 2, at Serenity Springs Funeral Chapel, with Father Dan Juelfs officiating. Inurnment will follow at Black Hills National Cemetery near Sturgis. In lieu of flowers, you may send memorials to the Hospice of the Hills. Condolences may be sent to the family at www.serenity springsfuneralchapel.com. Published in the Rapid City Journal on 7/1/2008.
Guest Book • Flowers • Charities

Link to video memory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1iXVl9Y1xY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1iXVl9Y1xY

Funeral to be at Serenity Springs Chapel 10:00 am Wednesday

3808 Sheridan Lake Rd
Rapid City, SD 57702
(605) 718-3900

Get directions

Mary Virginia Finnegan Haffner Staikoff

Born September 8, 1924
Died June 28, 2008

Mom passed this afternoon. She did not get out of bed this am. Sue had asked Mark to come up to see mom as soon as possible. Sue had been with mom since Tuesday and needed a break. Sue went home to take a break about 10 am. I was informed via phone that Mom passed away peacefully sometime around 3:15 pm Mountain Standard Time. Ironic in that Trevor had called Mark just about an hour earlier and wanted him to put the phone up to mom's ear so he could tell her he loved her. Mark said she was asleep. About the time of her death Connor and I had had crossed the New York State line and were just a few miles outside of the Buffalo City limits at the time she passed. Connor told me he thinks mom stayed with us until we got "home". I like that thought.

We will post when services are. Bless you all.
Love,
Linda

Another Glamorous one of mom

Good Days and Bad Days

So Linda and crew have been gone from Rapid since Tuesday. Sue has been on 24-hour care since then and Stephanie has been providing her with breaks as needed. Hospice has been to the apartment in one form or another by way of nursing, bathing or spiritual help. Given mom's declining condition Sue is not getting good sleep. Mom's pain is increased and we think she has developed a tumor in her hip area which may be contributing to the pain and discomfort. Yesterday she had a good day and the day before that she got to go out for a stroll around the grounds in her wheelchair. Today is nicht so gut, as she is very weak and tired. Sue is doing an outstanding job and I love her so much.

Linda, Trevor and Connor have begun their journey to the east and are pulling a small U-Haul trailer with the van. We made it to Valparasio, IN today and hope to get the rest of the way tomorrow. Nathan and Kira will remain in Iowa City and the movers will pick up furniture on Monday, then the closing will take place (we hope!) Both our lawyer AND the buyer's lawyers were flooded out andhave been working so hard to make this happen. Keep your fingers crossed.

Just to make life interesting, sweet Nathan has had some health issues. A staph infection in his finger and lots of trouble with his blood pressure meds. The night I got home (Tue), Nathan got up around 3AM to get a drink of water. I heard a big CLUNK downstairs and supposed he had bumped into some boxes or something and thought to myself "at least I don't have to worry about big, strong Nate falling." When he didn't come back to bed I got a little freaked and went to investigate. Kira was mopping him up as she announced, "Daddy fainted". He was there in the kitchen in a puddle of Mountain Dew! He has struggled with some Bradiacardia (slowed heartrate) due to the meds and is now off of those meds and doing better. YIKES.

Mothers and Daughters together forevever

Now this one is just the All-American girl. Mom is still beautiful, even in her illness. Her aqua-blue eyes shine. Today was a rough one, with bouts of nausea and weakness. We did get the hospital bed and this is so exciting because it has increased her comfort level immenseley.

I have to leave tomorrow and begin the journey to our new life. I am really excited to bring our branch of the family back to the same area where both my mother and father were born and raised, and to where so many relatives remain. It is so odd as many of these photos were taken just miles away from where we will be living. The irony is that I was thinking mom would join us for Holidays and get to visit her old stomping grounds.

The other irony is that I really feel as if I am home in these Black Hills. I will always be a Black Hills girl and I feel this land is instilled in my blood. This final night of this trip is quite poignant. As I gently lift mom into bed and see her bruised and ravaged body, I pray that I will be able to return in time to see her once more and to tuck her in many more nights as she did for me when I was small, and had a pixie hair cut (see above).

Sue, you are the best sister in the entire world and I am so honored to go experience this most bitter-sweet time with you. Love you forever Suzy-Q!

Finally, I especially want to thank everyone who has been calling, giving us support, words of encouragement and the like. Neil it is so comforting to know you will be here next week.

 This is one of the most precious memories we will have and our entire family will treasure this forever. What a gift.

Once a hottie, always a hottie!

Our mom always has had bedroom eyes...but these are killers!

Lunching with Mom

This is last week but I am just getting around to posting.

Mom and Dad on their wedding day

I love this photo and I love this story. Sue said that she used to see this photo (top) in the photo album and she thought our parents were the couple on the LIFE magazine cover! The photo just above is after Dad came back from WWII (flying over Burma). They are at a Buffalo Night club. Note that mom is wearing his "wings"

Hospice of the Black Hills

We had a very good visit from Hospice this am. Mom's case is a little unique as since she has leukemia, we had to understand that blood transfusions cannot be part of hospice care. At the onset of her diagnosis, we did think she was going to need transfusions due to her low platelet count and anticipated low levels of hemoglobin. Mom has been stable on both counts, however (low, low platelets) but no bleeding. So she was able to be enrolled. Our goals are to keep her in this apartment where she is comforted by routine. What a blessing these people are! They already gave Sue and I the best advice for little things such as bed-to-chair transfers and such and helped me to realize that letting go to do this move to Geneseo is a healthy and needed thing. My family needs me and my mom needs me, and there is just one me, so I go where I need to go when I need to go. Nathan has been wonderful and reminded me that I can fly back to Rapid City in mid July as soon as things get settled down. I pray that I am able to do that. In the meantime, I am going to post some WONDERFUL photos that Sue and I found today. Enjoy!

News from Rapid City

It is a beautiful day in Rapid City after a night of big thunder-boomers! Lots of thunder, lightnening and rain in the middle of the night. A four mile run this am was very refreshing.

Mom is failing. I am unable to get much food into her and the best she ate this week was when Neil, Dale, Nathan and kids took her to Red Lobster on Monday. Hospice services will consult with us on Saturday and help us to decide when she is no longer able to stay in the apartment. Right now as long as someone is here most of the time, I am comfortable with her being here. I worry about next week, however when I need to leave to prepare to go to Geneseo. For example last night she was standing by the sink and just collapsed. She is quite weak. Today she elected not to go get her hair done. This was kind of a milestone as she is ALWAYS up for that hair appointment and Sherry, her stylist has literally done her hair for over 30 years and is like family. It was quite hard to tell Sherry mom would not be in. We will hope she feels better and wants to reschedule. Mom's mood is still fairly good. For instance Stephanie and I noted this ridiculous headline in the Rapid City Journal yesterday:

DROUGHT NOT OVER YET, EXPERTS SAY --Western South Dakota could return to overlly dry conditions if the rain stops.

Grandma read that and asked, "Is this a joke or is it some kind of mistake?" We have decided to send this headline into Jay Leno. We decided to send this little note that says, "Not to be outdone by the flooding in eastern Iowa, the Rapid City Journal hired Captain Obvious to write their weather-related headlines" So Susie sent it in this am. We will let you know if it gets on the air!